KimMae's Open Book

The unimportant thoughts and ramblings of Kim.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Slave to the Masses

I have lived in Atlanta for about 7 years and for the greater part of 5 years while I was in college I had the opportunity to serve in some rewarding volunteer opportunities. I say some because, yes, there were a few "opportunities" that I would have gladly negotiated their title. Such as trimming hedges down to size that were at first the makings of a successful small town (when I was finished..13 hours later... I found twigs in rather questioning places and scratches in equally alarming ones) or visiting the Georgia School for the Deaf, where I think the main "break through moments of unity and brotherhood" were captured when the children in unison were laughing at our team's turtle-like speed of sign language along with hit or miss accuracy. From my agony and embarrassment I warn you, the letter "T" and the sign for "toilet" are indeed very similar. Now I have digressed, but for good reason. Now that I'm back in Atlanta and have successfully negotiated a job I am looking for ways to spend my time that would be rewarding as some of the volunteer opportunities that did, in fact, impact my life for the better. But I am discouraged! Today I was thumbing through the new Hands on Atlanta magazine and the only needs I see in all of the pages of this Atlanta service magazine bring back bad memories of hedge trimmers and unintentional toilet inquiries. Listen to this: volunteers needed to assist in recycling, volunteers needed to sort clothing, assist with labeling, cook and serve breakfast, clean up facility, and the lists goes on. Come on! I maybe a little picky with where I spend my time but throw me a bone here. I don't want to drive all the way downtown to spend 4 hours sorting clothes or cleaning up. My attitude may be the reason why they need such help in these areas but please, where are the jobs doing the interesting stuff? Molding young minds, assisting AIDS programs and patients, turning youth from their violent ways. Where can I really feel involved, be excited about it and leave without too many bush scrapes? Am I the only one that isn't moved by opportunities to scrub floors? I guess my search must continue but I am encouraged in this one thought; that maybe doing these types of meager jobs might be a means to an end. Maybe trimming hedges will allow me the opportunity to do some thing greater later. But my fear is, that trimming hedges might become my greatest attribute to an organization that just really needs clean hedges.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Day

Yes, it is true, I am associated with, not to mention related to, a family who does all their Christmas jollies on the days preceding the actual Christmas Day. And yes, while I'm being honest, I do go to a church for whom the doors will be closed on Christmas Day. I am not ashamed of my family's habits or that of my churches but what does concern me is the alarmingly large amount of boredom I feel on this auspicious day. Now to be sure, I am not to be pitied, I have my fill of Christmas cheer too. All the necessities of Christmas are involved; presents, fire, games of dirty Santa played with distant and not so distant family, Saturday Christmas service and the like. But when the day of Christmas arrives, there is nothing left for me to do. I sit, I read, I go to see a movie (that itself saves me from complete and utter despair), I read some more and now I'm here writing these words at 8:30pm contemplating how going to bed this early would effect my REM cycles. And this day, to many, the highlight of the year! Well to all those with such a busy Christmas day schedule I must say I am borefully content. I have no obligations, no guests to entertain, thank goodness no babies to tend to, I have the right and ability to be bored. I am 25, I have two significantly younger cousins, one is married and expecting a baby in the new year and another who is married with two young children. I say NO and EWWww to it all. I started off this post with an air of self pity and woe but I have reminded myself of something very important. I should be okay with being bored on this holiday, not okay, delighted in fact. Bring on the boredness, the latter is infinitely more terrifying I must admit. Well, now that I am most happy with myself I think I will go to bed and enjoy the rest of the Christmas day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

It's All about ME- Unfortunately

I've discovered, thinking about my plans for the new year that, already a lot of my money and my time have been accounted for. This shouldn't disturb me, actually I should be quite happy really, I do have big plans for this next year but I'm perplexed. I see a trend, habit really, already set for the new year of Me-ness and it's evading both my time and money in a fashion that would concern even the most self-indulgent person. I have big plans to go on a backpacking trip during the summer, a trip with a good friend in April to the Caribbean and a hope to get my own apartment in town. All these things are very exciting for a girl like myself whose current situation has her still occupying the upstairs room in the ol' family home, a limited history of traveling adventures and a growing itch to explore what's "out there". Still my perplexity continues, my new year's resolution (I have honestly never really been one to set resolutions-)is to invest both my time and money in ways to serve others because I sure have planned out ways to serve myself quite luxuriously. Now this doesn't mean I am going to cut out all my plans- that would be absurd....right? But it does mean that what is left of my time and what is left of my money (this is sounding bad)will be used to serve others, no let me change that to something less lofty, lets just will be used on something or someone that doesn't include me. How does that sound? Honest, hopefully, honest. Now, how to do that? Well this must include some planning of its own. I think my google search engine will be shocked; instead of the usual clothes searches, travel searches, jewelry searches, outdoorsy stuff searches I will have to search for...for...well I don't know. Luckily, I still have some time to explore this "non-me-ness" new years resolution. For now although, I am content in my perplexity- I want "me-ness" to disturb me, to change me to someone I haven't met...yet.

My First Attempt

What to say-----starting a blog is a little unnerving for a girl that keeps her journal tucked in the most secretive places with initials of those I'm talking about for the "just in case" chances someone would ever read my thoughts. The paper can't be trusted, I tell you, it's desire to tell all to the world is deep within its blank white stare. Now look at me, writing on a open forum where my garbage man could be reading with interest (more probably without interest) the reason for the discarded paper mache igloo. Well, I can't explain my reasonings but to say that I wanted to be a part of the club and something inside me, deep inside to be sure, wants to know if there are more people out there with the same wild ramblings and ideas as me. Of course I must start by showing some pictures, right?:

Alright here is my sister Jen, my brother Joe and me Kim (I'm in the middle).

We are in Cancun, Mexico for a family vacation.

Here are my favorite and only parents. Cute aren't they?

This is also a picture taken in Cancun. Our next family vacation? Skiing in Utah in Feburary! I can't wait.